Charm & Integrity: The Balance

Charm & Integrity: The Balance

I was driving home this evening, reflecting on the past few weeks, and I had a moment of self-reproach. Not for failing in any major duties or dropping any (major) balls.

Rather, I came to recognize a weakness in myself that might get the better of me if I’m not careful: my ego.

Don’t we all love to be charmed and flattered and made to feel ‘meaningful’?

Come now, let’s be honest.

I have an ego, and it likes to be stroked. But at what point does that stroking become… well, entirely inappropriate?

There is a place for charm in life and business, I believe. We all put our best foot forward. We interact with politeness and grace… and it’s oh-so-charming. We all feel… so good about each other.

At some point though, shouldn’t the plushy cotton gloves come off? At some point, shouldn’t we be able to look each other in the eye, and just be real; just be genuine?

There must be some balance between charm and integrity, where a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship – be it business or personal – can thrive. It’s such a fine line.

I’m still learning. What do you think?

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4 thoughts on “Charm & Integrity: The Balance

  1. You’ll never find it in the business world. Work is work and home is home. Sad but true. Finding it personally among close family and friends… Well sometimes it’s even more difficult to find there.


    1. I’m quoting a friend, someone who’s wisdom I respect. I had asked on another platform about Bible saying that charm is deceptive. Where does politeness fall? Putting your best foot forward? Even romance? He responded and said the following:

      “…we constantly move from dualism (fragmentation-ego) to wholeness… “you being you”… charm can be deceptive if that’s your only point of reference, of course… it can also be a gift if it’s rooted in a loving heart…” ~Harold J. Duarte-Bernhard


      1. The trick is then praying for discernment. To see who is real out there. We all know our own hearts, it’s knowing others that leads to trust and a growing relationship.


      2. I agree with Harold. I think being polite is a fruit of our lives as Christians. When we live with the fruits of the spirit in our hearts we automatically become ‘polite’.

        It’s our hearts we need to make sure are In the right place with each encounter. It’s the trusting other people’s honesty and politeness that I struggle with…


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